This blog is called “Alex Has Nice Hair.” And, really, it’s not all that nice. I mean, it is; if we’re being honest it’s a lot nicer than yours probably. Okay, that’s my narcissist spitting truth. =)
I don’t obsess over my hair. I promise! But I hated getting my hair as a kid. Why? Because you always want what you don’t have. I had an afro-tastic explosion of fiery red locks. The kind of locks that old liver-spotted people would comment on and touch; the kind that other asshole kids would make fun of a kid for; the kind that would cause your mom to tell the kind barber “No, no. Just a bit over his eyes.” Yeah, that didn’t do me many favors.
My mom dropped me off at the barber’s one day and she couldn’t stay to watch over me while I got my hair cut. I promptly took the money my mother gave me, walked right in and said “I want a buzz cut.” My mom was less than pleased and, honestly, I was shaken by how little hair I had; ultimately, I was glad it was gone. Less to make fun of, or so I thought.
That act set the course of my life. With every haircut received I would look like more of an asshole. Without fail. How so? I’d have been better off placing a bowl on my head and cutting around it. I looked like the strange cherubic love child of Ronald McDonald and Bill Walton… It wasn’t pretty, folks.
To that end I do have a gal that cuts this lovely piece of tumbleweed that rests atop my scalp. And if she moves (like she says she’s intent on) I may just end it all. Life will not be worthwhile and then I’ll have to move this blog to a new domain… “AlexHasShittyHair.com”
Okay, so why do you have a blog called “Alex Has Nice Hair?”
At the end of the day, I dig attention. You might even call me an attention whore. A good buddy of mine, Steve Zehngut was called upon, last-minute to do a presentation on WordPress Multisite at WordCamp OC. During his presentation/demo he created a site and polled the audience for a name for the site. With no one offering suggestions, I chimed in “Alex Has Nice Hair!.” It got a chuckle. But for the next thirty minutes or so, people were asking things like “How do I get access to Alex’s Nice Hair? What kinds of plugins do I need to install into Alex’s Nice Hair?” — Needless to say, I was amused and since then the hair thing has stuck (and surely without any effort on my part).
What? You wanted an entertaining story? Shaddap! That’s all you get!!
So the next time you’re wondering why I’m such a shit head about my hair, now you know…